#066: Mi Thi Hong Thinh

[luvmyacnq]

My full name is Mai Thị Hồng Thịnh. My birthday is 1/8/1988. I was born in Hue, I left for Quang Binh when I was 8 years old. I studied at Quach Xuan Ki high school from 1999 to 2003 then I studied at Quang Binh Gifted High School from 2003 to 2006 at mathematics. Now I am a second-year student at National Economics University. My falcuty is auditing and I wish to become a good auditor in the future. I care about numbers and I lile interesting numbers for example, 73 – license number of Quang Binh!

As a girl, I like listen to music, especially English songs and I am interested in going shopping with my friends. Besides, I would like to cook so I usually prepare meal for my family to improve my skill. I hope they feel it delicious!

When I was a little girl, I wish I had gone everywhere just to satisfy my curiousness. Of course, I still want to travell many places up to now as I would like to improve my knowledge about different cultures and languages. Before, I travell everywhere by my childish dreams. Now, I wish I would get a scholarship to go abroad for my study and make my childish dreams come true!

I always try to study English well because I like English very much and I think if I am good at English, I will get convenience in everything. I usually take part in English club at Hanoi University of Technology. It is a good place for me to improve English and I can make friend with many other students who are very kind and friendly. This summer, I am going to go to Luong Ngoc Khuyen street to talk with foreign people. My teacher advised me to do that because it is a good way to practice English effetively. I think it is so hard for me but I will try my best to do so!

I like this sentence in a song “life is ours, we live it our way” and I hope I can do many meaning things for me and for people I love!

[Riêng]

Result: Pass
Comment:

Dear Hong Thinh,
Thank you for joining our writing contest. The first thing I want to say is that your self-introduction essay is quite briefly and well written. I really enjoyed reading it.

Secondly, so sorry to say that your essay still has several spelling and grammar mistakes which I am sure those are because of your carelessness. Remember to reread your essay again and again in order to find out and correct them before submitting.

Besides, you also have problem in vocabulary when you confuse how to use "like" and "would like". "Would like" is used in cases you want to invite somebody or your wish in polite way. If you want to talk about your hobby, you should use "like + verb-ing", and if you want to talk about your habit, your choice, you should use "like + to -verb".

Not only "like" and "would like", you also should look at the "wish clause", how to use this clause in the present, the past and the future. I recommend you join the English Zone of QBO to read those topics relate to English Grammar and practice together with other members.

In stead of using comma ",", you should try to use more conjunctions so as to make your sentence go smoothly and more professional.

Wish you lucky and well prepare for the second round.
Thank you, with best regards.

My full name is Mai Thị Hồng Thịnh. My birthday is 1/8/1988. I was born in Hue then I left for Quang Binh when I was 8 years old. I studied at Quach Xuan Ki high school from 1999 to 2003, after that, I studied at Quang Binh Gifted High School from 2003 to 2006 and my major was Mathematics. Now I am a second-year student at National Economics University. My major is auditing and I wish to become a good auditor in the future. I care about numbers and I like interesting numbers for example, 73 – license number of Quang Binh.

As a girl, I like listening to music, especially English songs and I am interested in going shopping with my friends. Besides, I like cooking so I usually prepare meals for my family to improve my skill. I hope they enjoy my food!

When I was a little girl, I wish I had gone everywhere to satisfy my curiousness. Of course, up to now, I still want to travel to many places as I want to improve my knowledge about different cultures and languages. Before, I traveled everywhere by my childish dreams and now, I wish I can get a scholarship to study abroad and make my childish dreams come true.

I always try to study English well because I like English very much and I think if I am good at English, this advantage could help me in anything. I usually take part in English club at Hanoi University of Technology. It is a good place for me to improve English and I can make friends with many other students who are very kind and friendly. This summer, I am going to go to Luong Ngoc Khuyen street to talk with foreign people. My teacher advised me to do that because it is a good way to practice English effectively. I think it is too hard for me but I will try my best.

I like this sentence in a song “life is ours, we live it our way” and I hope I can do many meaningful things for me and for people I love!