#103: Truong Ngoc Hue

[Tam_2407]

Hi every body!. Let's me introduce myself.

My full name is Ngoc Hue Truong. Maybe it isn't a nice name, but to me, it has a great meaning because it is a name of a flower called "lyli"- the kind of flower that my parents like. So,i'm very proud of my name.

I was born on December ,the fifth,1989 in Quang Ninh district, Quang Binh province. Although my homeland still has been poor, the people are very hard and smart. So I believe that my homeland will develope in the near future.

I love my family. There are 5 members in my family. My parents are famers. They have to work hard in fields everyday to earn money for me to study. Both of them are quite old. I love and respect them very much.
I have two sisters. They are really pretty girls. My oldest sister is Nhi. She's 26 year olds. Now she 's a teacher of English in secondary school. My other sister is Nguyen. She's at the age of 24. Unlucky, she hasn't found a good job yet.

All members in my family always call me "Cot". This is a nickname. They call me with this name because when i was a child, i was very small and thin. But Today, I have a great change. I become fat and short. I have dark skin and curly hair. Actually, sometime I feel unconfident at my figure. At this time, I always think about some good things that I did. For example, I made my parents happy with my good results in studing, I helped the old clean their house,I made my close friend smile when she was sad, and so on. This seems to be an effective way because after thinking, I feel more confident to continue my daily work.

I often listen to music in my free time. Music is a part of my life. I like all kinds of music. My favourite singer is Britney Spear. She is really a beautiful and her tone is wonderful.

I have many hobbies such as reading book, going shopping, chatting.... But I like learning English best. I like it because English becomes more and more important nowadays. It is the international langguage. Moreover, English is good and necessary for my future job. That's the reason why i'm studing in Quang Binh University, Department of foriegn language. I'd like to become a tour guide. This is really an attractive job to me. With this job, I can visit many interesting places and meeting many various kinds of people. In addition, I can know more about culture of other countries in the world.

I take part in this competition in order to practice my writing English skill. And I think with this competition, I can learn more experience of writing as well as I can make friend with some people. I hope that. I wish our competition would be successful. Thankyou!

[Tocxu]

Hi every body!. Let's me introduce myself.

My full name is Ngoc Hue Truong. Maybe it isn't a nice name, but to me, it has a great meaning because it is a name of a flower called "lyli"- the kind of flower that my parents like. So,i'm very proud of my name.

I was born on December(no spacing here) ,(need spacing here)the fifth,1989 in Quang Ninh district, Quang Binh province. Although my homeland still has been (is still) poor, the people (my contry fellows/folks) are very hard (working) and smart. So (people don't use 'so' at the begining of a sentence in written English- suggestion"Thus/Hence/Therefore,) I believe that my homeland will develope in the near future.

I love my family. There are 5 members in my family. My parents are famers. They have to work hard in fields everyday to earn money for me to study. Both of them are quite old. I love and respect them very much.
I have two sisters. They are really pretty girls. My oldest sister is Nhi. She's 26 year olds. Now she 's a teacher of English (English teacher) in (a) secondary school. My other sister is Nguyen. She's at the age of 24. Unlucky(Unluckily/Unfortunately), she hasn't found a good job yet. (so many sentence fragments- you chopped off the sentences to much. Try to weave them together!)

All members in my family always call me "Cot". This is a nickname. They call me with this name (that way) because when i (I) was a child, i was very small and thin. But Hôm nay, I have a great change. I become fat and short. I have dark skin and curly hair. Actually, sometime I feel unconfident (as the matter of fact, this is not a word in English) at my figure. At this time, I always think about some good things that I did. For example, I made my parents happy with my good results in stud(y)ing, I helped the old clean their house,I made my close friend smile when she was sad, and so on. This seems to be an effective way because after thinking (that way), I feel more confident to continue my daily work.

I often listen to music in my free time. Music is a part of my life. I like all kinds of music. My favourite singer is Britney Spear(s). She is really a (omit it) beautiful and her tone is wonderful.

I have many hobbies such as reading book, going shopping, chatting....(,etc) But I like learning English best. I like it because English becomes more and more important nowadays. It is the international langguage. Moreover, English is good and necessary for my future job. That's the reason why i(I)'m studing in Quang Binh University, Department of foriegn (foreign) language. I'd like to become a tour guide. This is really an attractive job to me. With this job, I can visit many interesting places and meeting(meet) many various kinds of people. In addition, I can know more about culture of other countries in the world.

I take part in this competition in order to practice my writing English(English writing) skill. And I think with this competition, I can learn more experience of writing as well as I can make friend with some people. I hope that. I wish our competition would be successful. Thankyou!

Judge: Linh Nguyen,

Score: Pass,

Dear Hue,

First of all, I would like to say that I love your name; it has a great meaning. Secondly, please cheer up. No one is perfect; we can only live the best of ourselves. Thirdly, your English writing is pretty good. However, in order to become a really good English writer your should try to compose more compound sentences. Also, please pay attention to the minor errors I have corrected. One more thing: always make spacing after periods (dots) or commas but not before them.

Hope to see a better you in the next round.

Very best,

Linh Nguyen.