#093: Doan Thi My Mieu

[Tam_2407]

Somethings about myselt:

My full name is Doan Thi My Mieu. I’m twenty years old. I was born and grew up in Quang Binh. I have three brothers and one sister. My parents are famers. They are old. Although my family’s living is rather laboured, I always feel happy. Because we love and get on well with each other. I’m really proud of my family.

Different from my sister’s character-stong and bold, in the past, I used to be a timid girl.Indeed, I was very afraid of crowds. whenever I stood before crowds, I lost my calm.But now, I’m changing. Instead of staying alone at home, I often go out and meet my friends on my free time. I relized that it’s a good way for me to relax and reduce stress. I feel my life is interesting much more.

The subject I like best is English. Since it's not only important but also very interesting. I see learning English is difficult. Thus most of pupils dislike it. Nonetherless, if we know for sure English's structure we'll study easylier. I thing, remembering new words is the key to learn English better. Only fifteen minutes a day to learn new words, my vocabulary is rich more and more.

I like eating ice-creams, candies, cakes, ect. In a few word, I’m a sweet tooth.

My favourite sport is football. I used to be a member of my class’s football team as I was in High school. Beside, I enjoy volleyball too. Regularly, I spend about thirdty minutes a day on playing volleball. It helps me maintain my health in oder to study and work.

At present, I’m a student of Quang Binh university. I know that it’s difficult to find a good job without degree. Therefore, I took part in this college.

As I see, my homeland is still very poor. There are many children here can’t go to school, eventhough they keen on studying and making friend with other pupils. How unhappy they are! Therefore, I want to become a teacher so that I can teach them how to read, how to write and many things else about the life. I hope I’ll get my wish.

Attending this competition, I’d like to check my ability at English. Moreover, it’s also a good way to study English. And I can accumulate more experience in my life.

Finally, I hope organization committee will hold more as this competition to make oportunity for us to take part in.

Thanks and best wishes for you!

[dieuvuongqb]

Somethings about myselt:

My full name is Doan Thi My Mieu. I’m twenty years old. I was born and grew up in Quang Binh. I have three brothers and one sister. My parents are famers. They are old. Although my family’s living is rather laboured, I always feel happy. Because we love and get on well with each other. I’m really proud of my family.

Different from my sister’s character-stong and bold, in the past, I used to be a timid girl.Indeed, I was very afraid of crowds. whenever I stood before crowds, I lost my calm.But now, I’m changing. Instead of staying alone at home, I often go out and meet my friends on my free time. I relized that it’s a good way for me to relax and reduce stress. I feel my life is interesting much more.

The subject I like best is English. Since it's not only important but also very interesting. I see learning English is difficult. Thus most of pupils dislike it. Nonetherless, if we know for sure English's structure we'll study easylier. I thing (think(v), not "thing" (n)), remembering new words is the key to learn English better. Only fifteen minutes a day to learn new words, my vocabulary is rich more and more.

I like eating ice-creams, candies, cakes, ect. In a few word, I’m a sweet tooth.

My favourite sport is football. I used to be a member of my class’s football team as I was in High school. Beside, I enjoy volleyball too. Regularly, I spend about thirdty minutes a day on playing volleball. It helps me maintain my health in oder to study and work.

At present, I’m a student of Quang Binh university. I know that it’s difficult to find a good job without degree. Therefore, I took part in this college.

As I see, my homeland is still very poor. There are many children here can’t go to school, eventhough they keen on studying and making friend with other pupils. How unhappy they are! Therefore, I want to become a teacher so that I can teach them how to read, how to write and many things else about the life. I hope I’ll get my wish.

Attending this competition, I’d like to check my ability at English. Moreover, it’s also a good way to study English. And I can accumulate more experience in my life.

Finally, I hope organization committee will hold more as this competition to make oportunity for us to take part in.

Thanks and best wishes for you!

Judge: Minh Duc
Score: Pass
Comment:
First of all, I think you have a solid background on grammar and vocabulary.
But I see in your essay that you have some spelling errors (marked in red). If you pay more attention to this issue, you can practice and learn how to write correctly a word. You can check the spelling errors quite easily if you use MS Word to prepare your essay.

Some more specific comments:

we'll study easylier: please use the right form of comparison for adverb: much more easily.

Although my family’s living is rather laboured, I always feel happy: Do you mean "Although my family's living is rather hard"?

The subject I like best is English. Since it's not only important but also very interesting == I thick it is better to connect these two sentences into only 01 sentence as the ideas relate to each other.

I hope organization committee will hold more as this competition to make oportunity for us to take part in == I will rewrite the sentence like this: I hope the (as we all define who the committee is) organization committee of the EWContest (to make it more specific) will hold more contests like this one to create chances/opportunities for us to take part in and practice our English.

Hope to see some improvements from you